


Felt You Trembling

by twitch



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Biological Neglect, Comfort, Eating Disorders, Gen, M/M, Personal Neglect, Pre-Slash, Self-Harm, Sickfic, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:59:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twitch/pseuds/twitch
Summary: And even though the medbay was a reliable source of cacophony, especially in the aftermath of planet-side missions or in-space battles, the shuddering sensation that filled his senses didn’t appear to be radiating from that direction.He was going in the wrong direction but where he needed to go he didn’t know yet, or know why the roiling sensation of head and stomach was calling to him so strongly.





	Felt You Trembling

**Author's Note:**

> I have listed eating disorders and sleep deprivation as a trigger warning because this story does tread upon that subject, not overly but it is mentioned and one of the characters suffers from it. I do not take either issue lightly. I myself have had a history of undereating and not getting enough sleep. Please take care of yourselves, the two combined can be very bad.

The Finalizer was always filled with noise. It was not a matter of real versus imagined, it was all there, from the sounds of Stormtroopers and officers, engines and newsfeeds – over radio transmissions or holo-screens. In the barracks and the mess-hall to the training gym. In the Hangar and the Bridge and everyplace in between.

In that place that everyone contended but him.

Even in the quieter moments the noise didn’t cease. It would fade out a little depending on proximity but there was no possible way to block out the thoughts and emotions and dreams and nightmares.

And even though the medbay was a reliable source of cacophony, especially in the aftermath of planet-side missions or in-space battles, the shuddering sensation that filled his senses didn’t appear to be radiating from that direction.

Though he was ready to turn down the corridor towards the medbay doors already he felt the pull snap off. He was going in the wrong direction but where he needed to go he didn’t know yet, or know why the roiling sensation of head and stomach was calling to him so strongly.

He ventured back from the direction he came from, retracing his steps until he felt the tendrils again, pulling at his stomach, vision almost crossing.

A hand at the wall steadied himself. He had no need for the support but someone else did. 

A few near wrong-turns later he heard the weak breaths as though they were his own, shivering through his body.

Entering the Bridge, he looked over the crew, watching everyone’s faces for semblance of weakness. Physically and mentally he knew they were no match to him but this was on a biological level that could prove damaging. Hux did pride himself on the men and women working under him, he needed to do this for Hux’s sake.

Standing a far, not interacting with the officers, seemed to leave them unruffled. They didn’t spare him more than a second’s glance or thought before focussing on their work even as Mitaka and Hux spoke quietly together.

Cautious all the same he kept watch, aware of breath faster than a sluggish pulse, counter-rhythm to each other. He could see no flushed faces reacting to a questionable state of health, making him even more confused. 

He thought maybe he’d be staring too long over the room as a whole, unblinking, to cause the glassy vision that swam through his own. His eyes remained wide even though heavy lids drooped lower and lower.

A murmur sounding slightly louder voiced concern, disrupting his whole attention from people-watching.

“Sir?”

Mitaka’s voice at natural volume had him turning entirely, seeing unfocussed eyes on a pale face falling shut, body collapsing backwards.

A quick thrust of his hand slowed Hux’s fall, stopping him entirely until he was behind the General to support him. 

“What is the meaning of this?” he asked, looking to Mitaka even though the whole Bridge regarded them.

The Lieutenant hesitated, not out of fear, but looking between his two bosses, one unresponsive, the other scrutinizing from behind slit eye panes. “It’s nothing to worry about, this happens… fairly often.” 

“You are surprisingly unconcerned for the health of your Commander,” Kylo remarked, inflecting just enough scorn to make the younger man cringe.

“Well-” It was almost a stutter but Mitaka decided to steel himself. “On occasion General Hux doesn’t treat his nutritional intake or sleep with the respect it requires. Low blood sugar and fatigue tends to have him slipping out for a minute or two. He keeps a few nutritional bars in his office. One of them and a glass of water usually sets him right.”

It was Hux’s height that made it slightly awkward to position him out of his slump and into a mostly upright position. His head angled towards his shoulder when he pulled him along to the office, the Force helping to move the deadweight into the nearby room. “Proceed as you were. I’ll bring him his water.” As though he were feeding a child unable to do it himself. 

The nausea rolling through his stomach was Hux’s, that’s all it could be, feeling it just like he felt the concern of the officers once they were behind the door of Hux’s office.

When bleary blue eyes opened, finding his to withdraw physically and mentally, preparing defenses instinctively, he sucked back the mocking words he had ready, making a snarl through his modulator.

When he next spoke it was a low calm through his mask. “Where do you keep your nutritional bars?”

Gesturing wordlessly to his desk Hux watched him sharply, expecting the verbal attacks they sparred back and forth like anyone else would do friendly conversation.

Pulling off both of their gloves, him to unwrap the bar, Hux to eat, he gave him the food, curling Hux’s fingers around it. “Stay seated and eat, I’ll bring you some water.”

In amongst the small pained bites he could feel the gratitude that Hux didn’t know how to express any other way.


End file.
